I am an independent woman
I pay my own bills
I cook my own food
I single- handedly fulfill my child’s needs
And,
Round the clock
I clean the house
Wash everyone dirty clothes and dishes
Cook each person’s favorite dishes
………………………………………
I, secretly, wipe off my tears
Apply some make up
Fix my disheveled hair
Put on dark glasses
Hide my mental and emotional scars
Behind the silly grin and
The vibrant, floral scarf
…………………………………..
As a disguise
When you let out your anger and frustration on me,
When you make me feel that
I am a misfit in your life and
I am an uncouth woman
who does not know how to be a master chef and
A devoted mother and
Fail at being a caring and doting wife.
………………………….
I compromise yet again
For I have been taught that
In every relationship, there is a trade off
And I being a woman
The “meek” and the forbearing partner in the
So called nuptial bliss
Decide that I will not walk out on you
For I am scared
If I am not enough for myself
If I do need a “support”
If my child will blame me for “breaking” the family
If I am afraid of the social stigma
If I am looked at by everyone with disdain
And
If I would not get sleep without the routine bruises!
For I am used to it
Since I have got married
Since I have accepted all the mental, physical and emotional wounds
With the silent screams!
…………………………..
Do I still believe in the “sacred marriage vows”?
Do I still have a glimmer of hope?
Or
I just want to hide myself
Behind the facade of a “happy marriage”
As I have made to feel
By everyone around me that
Marriage is eternal and
Is meant to last forever!!
Or,
Shall I take charge of my life
My aspirations, my dreams
and above all
My respect and my integrity!
Shall I take the tiny step
and raise my voice
For I am not the “meek” partner
or the “weak” partner
But I am the Other Half
Equally Important
in the “Equal Partnership Marriage”!
I try
It is not easy
For I am used to this subjugation
since years
since ages
But now
I will not let go off my sanity
I will speak
And
I will stand for myself!